Hey Memphians,

My apologies for not posting yesterday from here in sunny South Beach. Yesterday was our big “Memphis” presentation for America’s Broadway Touring Bigwigs. We’re here to present a taste o’ Memphis in order to sell the “Memphis” national tour that is nothing but unofficial at this point though if it were official it would be happening in the Fall of 2011 but it is not official so I am denying most of what I just wrote. Officially.

Anyhoo, fantastical producer Randy Adams,and I flew into always sunny Miami on Sunday afternoon. We were greeted by a sky thick with clouds, but at least it wasn’t negative 27 degrees like it was in Manhattan when we left. We immediately hopped a cab and headed to our hotel bar where, to no one’s surprise, we found another fanastical Memphis producer, Sue Frost, drinking something large and fruity. Randy immediately curled up with a Tanquery and Tonic, and I, not one to go against my bosses, hopped into a Miami Margarita that was big enough to take a bath in. After liquoring up, we felt we were in the perfect state of mind to discuss Monday’s big presentation. I had to come up with some opening remarks to be delivered to a roomful of jaded, cynical, heard-it-all-before Theatre Bigwighs. “Oh yeah, and make it funny,” Randy and Sue said, stirring their drinks and looking longingly at various members of the Loew’s wait staff.

We also took a sneak peak at where the presentation was to be held — outside in a beautiful courtyard. It was scenic and warm and perfect. We were gonna kill.

We awoke on Monday morning to torrential rains and immediately realized A) we were not going to see a drop of sun on this trip and B) if we present outside, it will be in a swamp. I also awoke to realize A) since I had such a good time drinking and yapping with Randy and Sue last night, I hadn’t written one word of my presentation. Not good. I cranked up the old laptop and jotted down some witty and delightufl remarks. After an hour or so of inspired scribing, I took a short Starbucks break and then came back to reread my witty and delightful remarks. It was at this moment that I realized my remarks were neither witty nor delightful. Instead, they were — what’s the word? what’s the word? — oh yeah, terrible. And keep in mind, I was going to be speaking to a roomful of bigwig producer-types who know me (and produce me) as a WRITER, so it wouldn’t be a good thing if I got up there and gave them an example of me not being able to write well. That would officially be known as “killing one’s career.”

With the clock now quickly ticking towards our presentation, I jumped into panic mode. Since it was too early in the day to do something sensible like start drinking, I decided to focus my energy by going for a jog. Before I left, I checked my phone to find a text from David Bryan. David played the Grammys on Sunday night (very cool!) and he also lost the Grammy he was nominated for (very uncool.) But David wanted to know how my speechwriting was coming, a question which sent me running into the rain. And somehow, while running in the downpour, an idea hit me –for my presentation, what if I read David’s acceptance speech that David never got to read last night? Of course, David hadn’t actually written an acceptance speech, by no matter — I’d dive in and
write it for him. And if the speech wasn’t good, I could just blame him. Perfect!

So I ran back to the hotel, banged out a heartfelt Grammy acceptance speech, then rushed to our soundcheck. And guess who shows up for soundcheck? Chad and Montego, looking beautiful and relaxed and ready to sing (even though they had caught a plane after the Sunday matinee and arrived at midnight the night before.) And for those of you who don’t know, a soundcheck is the time before a live peformance when the singers sing their songs into the venue’s sound system to see how it all sounds. And the amazing thing about Chad and Montego is that you expect them to blow people away in the actual performance, but these two blew everyone away in the soundcheck. Waiters and busboys just stopped working to watch and applaud them. When I got up to speak, the waiters and busboys went back to their business but no matter! I had David’s acceptance speech in hand so I was ready to rock the evening crowd.

As for how’d it go … tune in later… an actual speck of sunshine just appeared outside and have to run out and remind myslef what that is.

Much unconditional love though there are always conditions attached to love, isnt’ there?,
Joe